Updated
It began with a deep perception of the way my life moves forward, noticing those chance events that occur at just the right moment, to suddenly send my life in a new and important direction. Where I started to intuit higher meaning in these mysterious happenings, which I couldn’t understand them, but i knew they were real and with it I started to look for more fulfillments in my life, that won’t put up with anything that seems to bring me down.
I’m sensing again, that there is another side of life that i have yet to discover, some other process operating behind the scenes, a quantum leap, transformation began with unconscious Insight then as a profound sense of restlessness. But afterwards with some glimpses on the alternative kind of experience ... moments in my life felt different somehow, more intense and inspiring.
I thought it’s a new awareness of the spiritual which is expanding, a kind of positive psychological contagion, that crystallized something i perceive in life and suspended my doubts and distractions... to believe that this reality can be my own, my life had been guided by some unexplained force, a feeling of mystery and excitement and, as a result, i felt more alive.
But I didn’t know what this experience is or how to make it last, and when it ended I’m left feeling dissatisfied and restless with a life that seems ordinary again.
How, when, where, it happened? And why I returned back to that same first point?, I was feeling all these changes step by step, I was developing day after day, then suddenly all this started to decay, as if I’m inside a ship & moving away from the land I discovered, this land is disappearing slowly as that force moves my ship away, I need a strong sort of gravity to pull me back to my Island before it’s too late.
what was the secret behind that gravity which pulled me towards this feeling, and when it’s gone the feeling gone?!
Was it a person? Charged me with all kinds of the positive feelings, inspired me till the bone & when that person gone the feeling gone, or maybe a place, a situation, or a certain kind of pain?
why I’m returning back to that old person?, why I’m losing all these nice feelings?. I don’t know how I was creating them & I don’t have a clue to create them again, every time I try, I end up with empty faded visions!
I’m sensing again, that there is another side of life that i have yet to discover, some other process operating behind the scenes, a quantum leap, transformation began with unconscious Insight then as a profound sense of restlessness. But afterwards with some glimpses on the alternative kind of experience ... moments in my life felt different somehow, more intense and inspiring.
I thought it’s a new awareness of the spiritual which is expanding, a kind of positive psychological contagion, that crystallized something i perceive in life and suspended my doubts and distractions... to believe that this reality can be my own, my life had been guided by some unexplained force, a feeling of mystery and excitement and, as a result, i felt more alive.
But I didn’t know what this experience is or how to make it last, and when it ended I’m left feeling dissatisfied and restless with a life that seems ordinary again.
How, when, where, it happened? And why I returned back to that same first point?, I was feeling all these changes step by step, I was developing day after day, then suddenly all this started to decay, as if I’m inside a ship & moving away from the land I discovered, this land is disappearing slowly as that force moves my ship away, I need a strong sort of gravity to pull me back to my Island before it’s too late.
what was the secret behind that gravity which pulled me towards this feeling, and when it’s gone the feeling gone?!
Was it a person? Charged me with all kinds of the positive feelings, inspired me till the bone & when that person gone the feeling gone, or maybe a place, a situation, or a certain kind of pain?
why I’m returning back to that old person?, why I’m losing all these nice feelings?. I don’t know how I was creating them & I don’t have a clue to create them again, every time I try, I end up with empty faded visions!
Inspired by “The Celestine Prophecy”
Update
I consider this post one of the most important posts I wrote along my blogging period, coz it is crystallizing turning points and meanings I passed through them in the last year till this moment!
Tags: Spirit, Spiritual, Inspiration, Feeling, Personal, Mystery, Experience, Contemplation, Mystic Contemplation, Tota, Blog.
Tags: Spirit, Spiritual, Inspiration, Feeling, Personal, Mystery, Experience, Contemplation, Mystic Contemplation, Tota, Blog.
6 comments:
The mind is a terrible thing, I just love this cliché but really we torment ourselves. Hurt the closest, dearest people to us and then play the game of guilt until we all exhausted and if we are alone then we turn on ourselves and imagine happiness and build castles of sands then destroy it all just to feel self petty but it is not us to blame it is a human thing, a terrible thing.
It’s a soul, spirit related issue, mind can interfere in some moments but it’s all about the soul that is in control, We human are overly demanding, and sometimes we expect from the others to live in our own world, playing that battle of control, everyday we search new interests to pursue, to satisfy our ego. We try to determine the route in this life that it best fits our souls, attempting to build a life; our life!
Syhchronicty strikes again ... hey I would love to have your comments in my survey ... I am writing a book about blogging and journal writing - check out my site or email me for a copy of the survey if you want it by email... would love to have your comments for the book.
Tota,
Your post has done something to my spirit too. It's not often that we meet a person or experience something that truly touches our soul. Our daily lives are so often soulless - sometimes even mindless. Like a mad rat race. Every now & then something happens & wake up & sense our inner dimension, that there is more to us & we need more from life than just the everyday needs we spend most of our time trying to satisfy.
Then the rat race catches up with us again & we lose sight & again we become these two-dimensional creatures.
It's like the Sufi teaching that your 'lower self' is like gravity pulling you down & the true Jihad is the struggle to rise against this gravity & know your own soul & spirit - that only with this knowledge can you find true peace & happiness & ultimately God.
From time to time, we need those things which lift our spirit, changing this daily typical routine; it’s something very similar to what u said Loulou!
Yesterday I had a dvd called Instant Calm, about Yoga & meditation & it did something here!
Pamela J Weatherill
my mail address is:
tota.from.here@gmail.com
u r welcomed to send it to me
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