| Saturday, December 03, 2005
| Signed for Dead
|Did you watch that movie “Message in a Bottle”? I just like it, that kind of pure feelings from Kevin towards his dead wife, although it was ironic that he is saying it all after her death … she can’t listen, some people may say that dead people can watch & hear us … but do they have those same feelings we know in life, does it really mater then?
even if she was dead … even if he just remembered to apologize, to tell her how pretty & nice she was! .. he was very sensitive and honest in his feelings & words.
of course the original story written by: Nicholas Sparks is much better than the movie; its script & specially the letters written by Kevin Costner was amazing which altered me to look for the novel but unfortunately I couldn’t find it, I only found two letters posted on the net .
I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in so long. I feel I've been lost. No bearings, no compass. I kept crashing into things, a little crazy I guess. I've never been lost before. You were my true north. I could always steer for home when you were home. Forgive me for being so angry when you left. I still think some mistake's been made and I'm waiting for god to take it back.
But I'm doing better now. The work helps me. Most of all, you help me. You came into my dream last night with that smile of yours that always held me like a lover, rocked me like a child. All I remember from the dream is a feeling of peace. I woke up with that feeling and tried to keep it alive as along as I could.
I'm writing to tell you that I'm on a journey toward that peace. And to tell you I'm sorry about so many things.
I'm sorry I didn't take better care of you so that you never spent one minute being cold or scared or sick. I'm sorry I didn't try harder to find the words to tell you what I was feeling. I'm sorry I never fixed the screen door. I fixed it now. I'm sorry I ever fought with you. I'm sorry I didn't apologize more. I was too proud. I'm sorry I didn't bring you more compliments on everything you wore and every way you fixed your hair.
I'm sorry I didn't hold on to you with so much strength that even god
couldn't pull you away.
All my love,
My Dearest Catherine,
I miss you darling, as I always do, but today is especially hard because the ocean has been singing to me, and the song is that of our life together. I can almost feel you beside me as I write this letter, and I can smell the scent of wildflowers that always reminds me of you. But at this moment, these things give me no pleasure. Your visits have been coming less often, and I feel sometimes as if the greatest part of me is slipping away.
I am trying, though. At night when I am alone, I call for you, and whenever my ache seems to be the greatest, you still seem to find a way to return to me. Last night, in my dreams, I saw you on the pier near Wrightsville Beach. The wind was blowing through your hair, and your eyes held the fading sunlight. I am struck as I see you leaning against the rail. You are beautiful, I think as I see you, a vision that I can never find in anyone else. I slowly begin to walk towards you, and when you finally turn to me, I notice that others have been watching you as well. “Do you know her?” they ask me in jealous whispers, and as you smile at me, I simply answer with the truth, “Better than my own heart.”
I stop when I reach you and take you in my arms. I long for this moment more than any other. It is what I live for, and when you return my embrace, I give myself over to this moment, at peace once again.
I raise my hand and gently touch your cheek and you tilt your head and close your eyes. My hands are hard and your skin is soft, and I wonder for a moment if you’ll pull back, but of course you don’t. You never have, and it is at times like this that I know what my purpose is in life.
I am here to love you, to hold you in my arms, to protect you. I am here to learn from you and to receive your love in return. I am here because there is no other place to be.
But then, as always, the mist starts to form as we stand close to one another. It is a distant fog that rises from the horizon, and I find that I grow fearful as it approaches. It slowly creeps in, enveloping the world around us, fencing us in as if to prevent escape. Like a rolling cloud, it blankets everything, closing, until there is nothing left but the two of us.
I feel my throat begin to close and my eyes well up with tears because I know it is time for you to go. The look you give me at that moment haunts me. I feel your sadness and my own loneliness, and the ache in my heart that had been silent for only a short time grows stronger as you release me. And then you spread your arms and step back into the fog because it is your place and not mine. I long to go with you, but your only response is to shake your head because we both know that it is impossible.
And I watch with breaking heart as you slowly fade away. I find myself straining to remember everything about this moment, everything about you. But soon, always too soon, your image vanishes and the fog rolls back to its faraway place and I am alone on the pier and I do not care what others think as I bow my head and cry and cry and cry.
|posted by tota @ 12:08 AM
OMG Tota.. thank u very much for posting these lovely letters.
They're the most pure ,spiritual and sensitive words ...
From this movie I loved the parts where he was remembering his dead wife..what could be more truthful than this kind of love ?
How touching ... thanks for sharing Tota...
I saw the movie, but never read the book. I should, the book is almost always better.
I don't know if they have feelings after they're gone, I don't know if it matters in the same way, but I am sure it counts at some level.
How come they can express themselves only when it is too late?
i never read the book, heard it was too nakad. the letters seem to get the essence of the nakad does it not?
wonder if people really love like that in real life? men at least? i know women can.
the first letter was really sad, because it was full of regret, for all the times that were taken for granted, things that were neve done.
someone once told me; after i had lost someone i had really loved: parting is essentially going to happen to us with everyone in your life, one day or the other, you will part with everyone, either they will leave you (normally or by death), or you will leave them (for the same reasons). so you can not build your life around others alone. we need a constant. that is one reason holding on to a relationship with God has become so important, He will never leave, even after our own deaths ISA.
thanx for sharing the letters tota. if you want the book, try virgin stores in city stars. they can get you whatever book you want by shipping :)
yes I believe it ‘s :)
counts at some level
interesting …then is it a must that everything should reach for a certain result at the end?
We cant live with the undetermined concept!
i never read the book, heard it was too nakad. the letters seem to get the essence of the nakad does it not? the first letter was really sad, because it was full of regret, for all the times that were taken for granted, things that were neve done
when I watched the Movie & with those two letters I didn’t have that feeling at all
I like the first letter the most, for the same reasons you said, the way of regretting was touching.
The second letter was excellent in the way of describing the deep feelings inside him & this high skill of writer which made me like it… maybe the whole novel looks in a different way.
wonder if people really love like that in real life? men at least? i know women can.
i believe that certain type of people can love this way both women and men, why u don’t believe that men can love this way, coz they r tough creature by nature?
Man can be tough outside, at work, in the street, but when it comes for his beloved, everything should be changed, doesn’t it ?
someone once told me; after i had lost someone i had really loved:
How come they can express themselves only when it is too late?
more often we regret things when we lose it, we feel it was valuable & if it stayed much longer, other things might be changed.
Is not it true when they say, tell the people how much you love them the moment you felt it , coz maybe it’s your last time to see them & then it will be too late.
Why always the human reaction towards things is to count the value after thing’s already gone.
Maybe It’s the blind confidence, we feel that these things are entirely exciting to us, & we have never thought of the idea that one day we may wake up & discover that they had gone
not having a wide look at the future, just living this moment and the next moment will be the same
Is it raised from the concept of appropriating others?
if you want the book, try virgin stores in city stars. they can get you whatever book you want by shipping
Thanx Doshar for the Info :)
I believe that people do and should love like that. What makes you as a human being special & irreplaceable is the people who love you & who would miss you if you were no longer there.
The hardest & darkest moment in life is losing someone you not only loved but actually built a life with. When it's born love is a connection but if you're lucky enough to win the person you love then love becomes all the shared moments & feelings & dreams & experiences. Then it's really irreplaceable because it becomes too much a part of you. And how can you replace it?It's not like you can turn back the clock & get your past life back.
I saw the movie a very long time when it was showing in theatres, i dont remember details, but i remember it was typical.
I guess im not your average romantic girl, but i do like sentimentality which i felt in the letters which were kinda nakad, but sentimental none the less :P
In love, when its right, its better to always hope for the best and learn ways to make it grow, as loulou said "people should love like that".
Love heals the toughest of wounds thats why it should be extreme to get the resutls aimed from it.
I watched the movie long time ago in the theater, and I remeber I cried like hell then. I was so much touched with the love story and the faithfulness of the hero to the memory of his late wife.
However, I was the movie today; but ironically I saw it from a different angle.
How come after all this love and letters and tears and bla bla bla, that the hero (kevin Costener) makes love to a stranger who he has just met. Where was his love to his wife then?
I was really angry at a phrase he said after he slept with this woman "I don't want to cheat you". Do you expect me to sympathize with a guy who has just made love to a stranger and who is apologizing to her cause he is still FAITHFUL to his late wife!!!
Sorry if I ruined the romantic mood of your post, bas besara7a ma3riftish amsek lesany:)
“Then it's really irreplaceable because it becomes too much a part of you”
I believe nothing last as it’s forever, even if it was a true love!
Maybe the story was typical as any other love story … but the way in which the writer expressed it in the form of four letters didn’t seem so for me, and that what attracted me about the movie
You are Right in what you said Wonderer
No excuse for such thing, but we know that men and women are different … woman can feel her emotions and talk about them in the same time, while man cant do this. he is either feel or talk! They cant express it immediately they do it on reflection … and talk it over later, but not in the heat of the moment.
And the writer was a male after all :)
Wonderer & Tota,
"I believe nothing last as it’s forever, even if it was a true love!"
Why?Prophet Mohamed(pbuh) continued to love his first wife Khadija all his life for many, many years after her death - even though there were other women in his life. He never hid from them that Khadija was his first & true love.There are many stories in the Sunnah about the Prophet's love for his first wife.
Aisha - his youngest wife - is reported to have said:
"I was not so jealous of any of the Prophet's wives as I was of Khadija . I never saw her, but he frequently mentioned her and he would often kill a sheep, cut it in pieces and send them round among Khadija's friends. I often said to him: 'It seems as if Khadija was the only woman in the world!' And he replied: 'She believed in me when no one else did; she accepted Islam when people rejected me; and she helped and comforted me when there was no one else to lend me a helping hand. And Allah(swt) granted me children with her."
(Collected by al-Bukhari (eng. Trans. Vol.5 p.104 no.166) & Muslim (eng. Trans. Vol.4 p.1297 no.5972))
You said it Loulou … Our prophet, the one who the Two angels, opened his chest, took out every bad and then washed him with snow from a golden basin .. none would be compared to his loyalty, honesty & great manners.
We are living in such a relative world, even the truth is not an absolute true, it became relative to human desires and causes!
I once heard a saying that really bothered me.
It says that, the death of a woman to her husband is like a hit in the elbow, very painful but soon you forget it. However, the death of a man to his wife is like a deep wound, maybe time heels it, but the scare is always there.
Is that true? I think the movie expressed this too.
"Is that true? I think the movie expressed this too."
I think the movie expressed the opposite actually. There is no way you can deny that this man was in very deep pain. Why do you think he wasn't?Because he had a one-night stand?Do you think he slept with another woman because he forgot his pain?Or that the act of sleeping with this woman made any difference to his pain?
You're confusing love & sex here. They are not always related. Not even for women. I know girls who were in love with a man for years & they could not marry him for one reason or another so they broke up & had arranged marriages. None of them have happy marriages mainly because they still love the first man. So even women can do it. Love one man & sleep with another & have his children. That's much more than just a one-night stand.
And you're also confusing love & morality. I agree that one-night stands are immoral but I don't think that has anything to do with the fact that this man loved his dead wife.
Back in the 80's there was a famous murder in Casablanca. A businessman had an affair with his secretary. The secretary was trying to force him to marry her. When he refused she threatened to go to his wife & tell her about the affair. So he killed the secretary.
During the investigation the affair was discovered & made public. Even though he was not a suspect in the case(there were other suspects) & there was no evidence against him he went to the police & confessed. When the investigators asked him why he confessed when there was no case against him & he had enough money & influence to escape execution he told them that his wife left him when she found out & so he didn't care anymore.
Now this man has no morals. He's a cheat & murderer. But no one could deny he loved his wife. Enough to kill to keep her. Or that he felt so much pain when she left him that he gave up on his life. You can't call this an elbow hit. Elbow hits don't make you suicidal.
It was a very unusual case because this man had no criminal record. He came from an excellent, respectable family which was destroyed by the scandal. He had so much to live for. And he threw it all away just to keep his wife from finding out about an affair. So many men there were saying he's ghabi. Let her find out. She'll forgive him or if she doesn't he can marry another woman. Who would think of his wife's 'za3al' when he is facing execution?But he clearly didn't see it that way.
There was a story I read where a mother was always saying to her daughter may God give you the love of an honest man. What this means is that even dishonest men love. Love is a value on its own - independant from truth or justice & other values. It's like fire. It can be a force for good or it can be destructive - depending on whose hands it falls into.
Hi there Tota,
I was browsing the web and I came across your website, and I was wondering why don't your join the Egypt Blog Aggregator at www.iopblogs.com
Hey, Tota, been a while! Hope you're ok! :)
Toooooooootaaaaa !!! Where aaaaaaaaaaare youuuuuuuuuu ?!?!?!
we all watched the movie but everyone reflected it in a different way
So Wonderer saw it from other angle
And it’s about how we see & apply the word “Commitment” and on return the way we like to receive it
I'm fine around:)
thanx for your concern