Friday, December 16, 2005

December’s Sorrows

Something is slipping inside me these days … a feeling of depression, fear or disappointment ... emptiness.

I don’t feel want to do anything. to write, read or even Study !
i cant share with others around me.

Time passes and yet I cant feel its value
Not coz I finally left my job since December 7th?
That what I already wanted to do from the beginning, not much of spare time, on contrarily I feel there is no enough time to do anything. Although I already do nothing... I wonder where all this time goes?
I know it when I slide into such mood, I don’t like to stick with it long
Sometimes I say to myself .. keep on filling those pages .. a New year is coming.

It seems for me as a life between two worlds hovering between both, on a deeper level; it consumes me up, sometimes I pretend to be happy, it works when u put urself in such mood & sooner it flips to the previous mood just in a glimpse of a second.
I’m trying to go through it not over it, but it doesn’t work with me!

14 comments:

Alina said...

This post of your reminds me so much of my last year's december and that whole winter actually! Was feeling so depressed, although was trying so much to seem happy.I went through it and eventually got over it, so wish you the same! Take care and keep smiling, it really helps! :)

Wonderer said...

It is human nature to go through these ups and downs. Life has its rosy days as well as its dark days.
Try to keep yourself busy with things that you like, go out, meet friends, practice a hobby, ya3ni anything that might help to distract your attention from the thing that bothers you.

Good Luck Dear,

Bart Treuren said...

i'd agree with kayla and from personal experience also... lots of distressing things happen, if you're having difficulty coping just remember that all people are basically good, that we're all together to help each other and that the sun is shining always, somewhere...

keep well...

tota said...

Thank u Kayla, Wonderer, Bart

well getting myself busy never works with me in that case

i'm much better .. well i'm having my birthdy next week, i should cheer up a little :))

Alina said...

Wow, great! When exactly next week??? :D

tota said...

On sat. 24th :)

Nightlegend said...

Sorry to read abut your mood but I think you updated and said you are feeling better now ,I am really happy for you.

I am the contrary from you ,I have always high spirit during winter ,especially in the rainy days!

tota said...

It's not a season related, i enjoy winter days as well, but maybe coz this whole year was such a hard one for me & here i can see its end now .. mix of many feelings!

Me said...

Good to know you're feeling better now Tota :-) isA better days to come...

Just Jane said...

A new year brings new hope and opportunities. Here's wishing you an early Happy Birthday and Happy New Year, Tota.

Unknown said...

I am surprised to hear this from you, I hope you feel better soon.

tota said...

Thank u Me & Jane :)

Essam
Thank u for ur wish

I am surprised to hear this from you
Isn't it one of the normal human's attitudes & reactions along this life?

Unknown said...

Not so long ago you seemed unconquerable by sadness.

tota said...

that's when we take the wrong way to solve things.
I was originating things out of its opposite!
happiness out of sadness, a pure positive feeling out of a pure negative one, that's why it fails when I was attempting to do it, forgetting that those high value feelings have different special sources and basis away from those transitory ones!