I'm bored of you all ... I'm in state of total blockage
I used not to expect much from people, I always put myself in such status and ask people to do the same, often we go through an entire relationship without realizing that each of us is paying attention to different things, based on different information.
We know ourselves better than anyone else can, we have access to different information about ourselves, others don’t … I know my dreams, hopes, fears and the constraints I’m under, others don’t. but they think that they know everything they need to, telling different stories even when they all have the same information, forgetting that they should be influenced by past experiences, the past gives meaning to the present and it’s only in the context of someone’s past experience that we can understand why what that person is saying or doing makes any kind of sense.
But instead they apply their implicit rules which are developed from their own past experience by which they live their lives; it tells them how they should act & how things are supposed to be.
Knowing all this in my mind, didn’t protect me from the trauma so that I preferred to put myself in a state of disconnection, supposing that this will give me limited visions, fixed, mute and still, but instead I I felt a little off-balance when things became somehow simpler and clearer and I got more self-conscious.
I have to deal with it like hits of some delicious drug & pungent observation of human frailty, allusions play hide and seek capturing the most fleeting memory; then there should be a sense of consolation at its conclusion.
I used not to expect much from people, I always put myself in such status and ask people to do the same, often we go through an entire relationship without realizing that each of us is paying attention to different things, based on different information.
We know ourselves better than anyone else can, we have access to different information about ourselves, others don’t … I know my dreams, hopes, fears and the constraints I’m under, others don’t. but they think that they know everything they need to, telling different stories even when they all have the same information, forgetting that they should be influenced by past experiences, the past gives meaning to the present and it’s only in the context of someone’s past experience that we can understand why what that person is saying or doing makes any kind of sense.
But instead they apply their implicit rules which are developed from their own past experience by which they live their lives; it tells them how they should act & how things are supposed to be.
Knowing all this in my mind, didn’t protect me from the trauma so that I preferred to put myself in a state of disconnection, supposing that this will give me limited visions, fixed, mute and still, but instead I I felt a little off-balance when things became somehow simpler and clearer and I got more self-conscious.
I have to deal with it like hits of some delicious drug & pungent observation of human frailty, allusions play hide and seek capturing the most fleeting memory; then there should be a sense of consolation at its conclusion.
5 comments:
It is true, most of us judge others using ourselves as reference. It is not correct or revealing in any way. Trying to leave your background behind and consider only the facts around the person you are anlyzing is quite hard to achieve. However, this is harmful for both parties involved: you either judge the other one too hars, or you give them to much credit...Either way, this practice should stop.
But how would we or could we understand others unless we relate to our own norms, values and experiences. It is not the others obligation to work hard to understand us, it is our responsibility to explain ourselves, motives and actions to others that if we wish to live in a human environment, otherwise our actions might convey the wrong messages
in fact we need our own norms, values and experiences “rules” to order our lives, but when u find yourself in conflict, in lack of information, u r not sure about the decision u r going to take, then it helps to make such norms, values explicit to exchange it with the other person before using it to judge him, it would reduce the chance that you will be both caught in the trap
and it’s not that your or his norms are better ,,, but that they are in most cases different.
And if we couldn’t understand the moves or actions of the other side then we shouldn’t assume the worst conclusion or intension… coz actually that what we usually do, what we don’t know is always bad!, we never consider giving excuses or try to step down to know from where such action came, and we assume that they meant to be inconsiderate or meant to hurt us … without hearing from them first, in the same time we don’t realize that it happens when we think others have bad intensions towards us, it affects our behavior and in turn how we behave affects how they treat us.
When someone do or say something, then maybe it was in his mind one, two days or a week ago and him revealing it, makes u know what kind of thoughts were in the mind of that person towards you, it means that this thought went back and forth in his mind, something happened made that person to think & see things in such way. “the past gives meaning to the present”
And after all, in case of someone who really matters to u, it really worth such hard works…
You are sounding quite frustrated...is there one thing that set you on this thinking or rather a series of events? What's going on?
I’m enduring, maybe enjoying being down for the moment … but I know I’ll come out of it…
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