Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Darting apostrophes

Darting apostrophes

Sometimes we try to stir up a feeling we wish we had, and at other times we try to block or waken a feeling we wish we did not have, psyche ourselves up, trick our mind into believing something that might not be true! Avoid staring hard enough so that we may not make out the words or the meanings. Hiding what we feel, faking what we don’t. Like believing in someone who turns out to be a liar, but we just refuse the idea that such a person is lying to us, or that someone has steered us wrong, we make up excuses & turn the meanings inside out; Instead of feeling we were the fools on the side.
Sometimes I believe that life follows our lead, it acts the way it's invited to act, like a child, and at other times I believe that we are only along for the ride, we think we are really having a full control over the events in our lives but we are actually not.
The only thing we have to do is connect to our truth, learn our lessons and apply them in our lives. We get to a stage that we may lull ourselves we have grown up enough, but what we turn out to be doing is that we only deal with losses that come from doing what we know to be right and not necessarily to be what we want.

Growth and death are facts in this life; as long as we are going to die, we have to grow in this life, not only a mental growth, but a growth on all the aspects of being, and as we grow, we have to move on, we can't grow and remain the way we are. We have to change.
we usually wait for drama to change our lives, to get our attentions, we don’t try to take the initiative. To take the first step before letting this drama taking control over what we do. leaving crisis & chaos behind.

What makes us who we are? is it our dreams, or the worst things that have happened to us; traumas and calamities ?, what forces us to change, or in other words, from where the majorities of the most powerful changes in our lives come, is it a result of the happiest things or the worst things have ever happened to us?

I don’t know why, but sometimes I find it very stressful going into such maze and I have to put a lot of mental energy into controlling the whole view, that would be OK if I didn’t also have to use mental energy on a million other things.

12 comments:

Alina said...

Sometimes, when thinking of past stages of my life, I feel it was all in another lifetime, so long ago, so different in each detail...You grow, think differently and rethink the past in a dim light. As for the truth within you, that is always circumstancial. It changes when you change, grow with you and yes, are sometimes affected too much by truths of others...

tota said...

Yea sometimes when I look back, not so far, just a year before or so, I think how immature & naïve I was, but at this timing i used to think totally different. Maybe because later, I added new perspective to my view.
As for the (real) truth I think it only develops, I agree that it grows, new sides added; sometimes it's absolute or subjective maybe relative to other truths. but how a truth can be changed when I change? At then I won't be real.

Ragu Kattinakere said...

To answer the question the language is Sanskrit. I think I agree with your comments. But as far as desire to get back immeturity is concered that could be avoided by having two views: naive and the other mature. We might then be able to do every worldly things of our age and yet more mature.

I failed to associate your writing to ots heading. And defnition of truth is "that which does not change with time". There are two words Satya(Truth) and Nija (Real) and other Mitya (unreal). However I do not think it is so simple to be in 'realised state'.
Thanks

Unknown said...

For me I think I change from one person to an other in every stage in my life, a completly different person with different ideas and beleives but all these personalities were suitable for their phases and despite my success or failier they all combined formed my new me , the personality I am living with these days.
I like your blogg very much and hope I am not bothering you with mu little visit.

Wonderer said...

Every time we think that we already grew up and that we understand the world and the people very well, something happens to prove us wrong. I think we will remain growing and gaining experiences till the very last day in our lives. The question is, do you really learn our lessons?!

Me said...

I second Wonderer... we keep growing and learning till the last day of our lives... and if one day we think that we "know it all" that is the day the "downfall" begins !

Me said...

Btw ... I love the music you have on your blog :)

tota said...

~rAGU
I failed to associate your writing to ots heading

"Darting apostrophes"
something could be small but quick and piercing, I c it's related to the way we change, so fast, like an aimed arrow.

Hechkok
You are welcomed, hope to c ya here over & over again …

Wonderer
Welcome back wonderer, u have been missed really
Sure we will never know it all even if we intrigued ourselves that we do.

Me
the music is by Richard Clayderman and it is called "Vals del recuerdo"

Alina said...

Happy holidays, Tota! Have lot of fun on New Year's Eve

Alina said...

Tota, thanks so much for stopping by. Really missed you and your posts.

tota said...

Thanx A lot Alina .. u r welcomed.

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